This could be taken as an oversimplification… …but I believe there is one reason why most businesses and relationships fail. (And why you’re worrying WAY too much.)

Here’s what happened…

After a rowdy birthday celebration in our Airbnb I went to the couch to nurse my hangover.

But I found a big wine stain.

So my girlfriend went to clean the stains with hot salt water.

But it didn’t work.

Then my girlfriend took extreme measures…

She started using a hairdryer to dry the couch.

I thought that was a bad idea…

…but I kept packing my stuff and didn’t say anything.

As I walked away the sound of Portuguese curse words replaced the humming of the hairdryer.

And I heard the scream:


You think the couch being lit on fire would piss me off right? Wrong!

That burnmark cost me $600+ and it was one of the best investments I’ve made in years.

How come?

‘Cause for the past 3 years I’ve worked hard to be aware of my reaction.

I read about stoicism, meditated, exercised, and ate healthy….

But there’s one phrase that changed my life and stopped me from overreacting…

… “Amor Fati” which means “love of fate”

But I call it the “flaming couch technique” and it works…


It’s hard to accept but…

…you have no control over what happens in your life.

But you do have control over how you react to situations.

My girlfriend started crying because she thought I would freak out…

…yet I didn’t care.

In fact I laughed and knew it would be a great story (and I couldn’t unburn the couch).

Because I kept my cool our relationship is better than ever.

My girlfriend feels safe with me and we accept each other’s mistakes.

So here’s the lesson:

If you want to improve your biz, relationships, or even social life…

…the best investment to make is in your emotional intelligence.

Being calm is a superpower that has a high ROI.

Good things happen to those who don’t overreact.

So journal about your feelings, meditate, take your dog for a long walk…

…And think about your reactions.

It will change your life.

Hope this helps,