One of the unwritten cardinal sins in the U.S. is…

…Invading someone’s personal space.

It’s like farting in an elevator or double dipping at a party – JUST DON’T DO IT.

So when I was in a Brazilian grocery store and a man in a monkey costume invaded my personal space…

…He ended up lying face down on the floor.

But before you accuse me of committing assault in a foreign country. And expect me to be on an episode of “Locked Up Abroad”…

Let’s rewind for a minute…

And I’ll explain how I got into this baboon of a situation.

First please clean your ears and listen up…

…cause it’s going to be one h3ll of a story…

You see Reader…

My GF and I went to the grocery story.

And when we entered the building…

The first thing we saw was a man in a monkey suit causing mayhem…

…I mean full on Planet of the Apes in aisle 5.

I’m not sure if there is a rule on monkey suite etiquette…

…But this guy was writing his own dang rules.

Monkey man would go to people’s shopping carts and steal their food.

Then run around and eventually put the food back.

It was so weird the entire store was tense…

Like the monkey was holding us hostage and robbing a bank with a banana as a weapon (LOL).

And of course while my GF and I were in line to check out…

…We were about to pay the price.

Old monkey nuts decided it was time for the grand finale.

He popped the sacred American personal space bubble.

You’d think my tattoos, broad shoulders, and no-nonsense buzz cut would scream “back off”

But Dr.Monkey clearly missed the memo and tried to kiss me.

Back where I come from, man-on-man (or man-on-monkey) kisses without permission is a no-go.

It’s like putting a fork in a toaster…

…You just don’t do it.

Then when Dr.Monkey decided to snatch my hat and make a run for it.

My blessed clown feet got in the way…

…And tripped him.

There lie monkey man, on his belly, wondering where it all went wrong…

Before I tell you what happened to the monkey man…

Let’s pause for a bit of wisdom.

The best stories (the kind that glue your eyeballs to a page) are born from…

…Drum roll plz…

Broken expectations.

You don’t expect a man in a monkey suit at a store. You don’t expect the man in the monkey suit to try to kiss you. And you don’t expect him to lie helpless on the floor.

Monkey man didn’t just break the personal space rule – he rewrote them. Making a story I couldn’t resist sharing.

The entire scene grabbed my attention by the cojones.

And if you made it this far…

The broken expectations or taboo acts held your attention too.

So you’re staring at a blank page…

Think about when life flipped the script on you.

Did your date go well, but when you leaned in for a kiss you got rejected?

That’s the gold.

That’s what makes your reader lean in and whisper in your ear:

“Tell me more”

To wrap this up I hope you were entertained and educated because at the end of the day…

…that’s what stories are all about.

Catch ya on the flip side,

-Parker

PS

Monkey man immediately got up, took of his mask, and left the store never to be seen again.

PPS

No Reader, I have no idea why this guy was dressed up in a monkey costume in public.

But whatever he was drinking, I will gladly have some. Cheer

PPPS

IT WASN’T EVEN HALLOWEEN WTF!

PPPPS:

What happens where you where a monkey suit in the ISS space station and surprise astronauts?

Click here to find out