How to never fail at storytelling

Tropical paradise? More like a bug-infested nightmare. Look Reader I love living on the beach... ...But the bugs here aren't just annoying. They're evil. Some of the bugs are neon colored freaks others have 20+ legs... ...But I swear they all have a taste for human blood. In fact, 9 months ago one of those suckers gave me dengue fever. I still get chills thinking about that hospital trip. Anyway this email isn't an insect guide... It's about the batsh!t crazy evening I had yesterday... I was...